First, on Thursday night, I finally prepared Odinmank’s data for incorporation into the MT setup on Xenon. It went very quickly. The only thing remains is for the Fish to tune a photo gallery plug-in (Why do people say “fine tune?” Doesn’t “tune” mean precise adjustments?) to deal with the King of Corsica’s illustrations and Odin’s photos. Then we’ll launch his new bloggy site.
This sort of brings me round to Loy Krathong.
See, back in early November, after Odinmank learned of Wade’s death, he launched a flaming lantern with Wade’s name on it. He sent me some mail in early January about it. Well, let him say it himself:
“Greetings from Cambodia,
“I wanted to send you a couple of photos from early November. In the week after I learned of Wade’s death, they had a festival in Thailand called Loy Krathong. During the festival, celebrants float incense laden floating altars constructed from flowers and leaves with candles and sparklers out into the river. Also they release flaming lanterns into the sky. This is a purgative festival–cleansing the old and bringing renewal–also by participating one acquires merit. Anyways many write messages on the lanterns before launching them, so I launched one in memory of Wade.
“Enclosed are the pics–“
This was an incredibly cool way to mark his death. Thanks, Tobe.
I also wanted to thank Rob. Rob was one of the tenants at Wade’s house on the day of the murder suicide. I wanted to thank him for telling his story. Rob tried to tell me this story during Wade’s service. I think he was a little nervous on how I’d react. People don’t aways want to know the truth about the people they love. But I do. I’m glad Rob told me this. I wanted to know.
Actually very little of it surprised me–the anti-depressants, the strip clubs and the unpaid bills. Wade went out like an episode from “Cops.” It was sad and pathetic–all the more reason for me to furious at him. Wade didn’t really share this me even though we were old, old friends. It feels like betrayal. But then again, looking back, I think I kind of knew it was getting worse. I just didn’t want to see.
But I see now. I’m angry with myself for not seeing sooner, for not doing something about it.
Not that there was anything I really could of have done. Wade was an adult. And I believe strongly in autonomy.
I’m angry with Wade and I still loved him. Emotions are complicated.